Fear and worry run rampant around this time of year. Preparations are made, hopeful plans, yet the outcome always remains uncertain.

It is homecoming season. Though afraid of rejection, many guys try to come up with big productions, hoping to get the best answer from their chosen girls: “Yes!” However, the opposite is uncommon. Unless there is a special occasion like Turnabout, girls do not usually take initiative and ask boys out. It is an unwritten rule of society, but it really should not be the case. There should not be any emphasis on gender when asking people to dances.

“I think they’re scared, like anyone is,” Alyssa Davis, junior, said. “They’re scared of rejection. And it’s expected that the guys will take charge with that kind of thing. But to be honest, times are changing. I think even with the social norm, people should take a chance. I’m sure guys feel a lot of stress from having to do this all the time; why can’t girls do it too?”

That fear, however, does not usually stop boys, because ultimately they are expected to ‘man up’ and be the ones to ask, which boils down to gender norms, or rules society is expected to follow based upon each individual’s gender. Even if some girls still want a boy to ask them, it is less of an option and more of an expectation that the boy will ask. However, it should be the former: a choice to ask or be asked.

“It’s become such a stringent set of rules,” Erica Stewart, social studies teacher, said. “To step out of those rules [one] can be ostracized by society. The way we maintain these roles is people in a position of power use social [conditioning].”

The sole reason it is a male-dominated pursuit of inviting to dances is that it is tradition, but “that’s how it’s always been” is not a good enough reason to continue something so based in the past. The idea should be to even the field, and to eliminate emphasis on the gender dynamic.

However, many people are so used to gender norms that they choose to conform to them, willingly or reluctantly They are unaware of the reasons and cite vague ideas of traditional and “how things should be.” There is an idea of chivalry, of course, but also a taboo. Many boys think it is simply their job to ask.

“I would feel actually kind of awkward about it, because I believe in more traditional ‘guy asking girl’,” James Beaudoin, sophomore, said. “I guess there would be less pressure, but I would rather have the guy ask. I feel like it’s more of a gentleman’s way of doing stuff.”

But high school students are a young generation far removed from the origin of that tradition that it should be easier to see that it is not the best way. Beaudoin even went so far as to say that if a girl he liked asked him to a dance, he would agree but then do the proposal over in a more traditional way, attempting to outdo the girl’s previous effort.

“I guess I would say yes, probably,” he said. “But I would say, I’ll ask you in a better way. Like, re-ask.”

Still, a girl should be able to ask whoever she wants to a dance, just like any boy can, without fear that the boy will not like the idea. It is simply ridiculous for a boy to reject a girl and ask her again because of the idea that it should be a guy’s job. It is an unnecessary amount of avoidable effort, all for the sake of an old-fashioned, outdated tradition.

The pressure should not always be on the guy, nor should there be pressure on a girl not to ask. Instead, gender should be taken out of the equation.

“If it makes girls feel inferior that they’re too intimidated to ask, then absolutely [it needs to be changed],” Stuart said. “Women are just as necessary and at this point contributors to the success of the whole, and if they aren’t asking because they feel inferior, that’s a problem, and absolutely there should be a push to [change].”

It boils down to equality. Do not judge the girls who are brave enough to ask, and do not mock the boys they ask. It should become the new normal.

“I think that if you wanna go with someone, you just need to take the leap,” Davis said. “Sometimes girls just need to take charge and say, I want to go to this dance; will you come with me?”

Taking the leap can be beneficial to both parties, especially if the boy is too shy. But ultimately, asking people to dances is a project that should be open to anyone who wishes to ask, regardless of gender.

“I like it. I feel like most girls think it’s the guys’ job,” Davis said. “But it’s actually kind of fun to do what the boys do.”