Anxiety: Living in Panic

One in five teenagers, aged 13 to 18, in the U.S. will experience an anxiety disorder during their high school years, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. About 111 out of 217 survey respondents of those teenagers are students at LZHS.

Two out of the 111 with anxiety deal with those disorders, from struggling to interact with their peers or teachers to seemingly simple tasks like walking to and from class to class. Though some days are a breeze, everyday events can trigger fear and panic attacks for students that currently dealing with an anxiety disorder.

“I’m actually afraid of stairs. People ask me why or say it’s weird but that’s where my first panic attack happened,” said an anonymous sophomore who we’re calling Ashley. “People don’t understand what kind of effect that has on someone. I’m able to take the stairs now but I used to not be able to because I was just so scared. My therapist would be like ‘you have to take the stairs, there’s no way around it’ and I would literally refuse. I would cry and shake at the bottom of the stairs because I didn’t want to do it. I can’t go up the stairs alone still mostly because I don’t want the same thing to happen to me so I usually have someone walk up with me and I’m fine.”

The fear of stairs had began in 7th grade when Ashley began to experience a panic attack in a stairwell, asked a nearby teacher for help, and went to the school nurse. After multiple visits to therapists and handfuls of school days missed, Ashley was finally diagnosed with generalized anxiety during the midst of her middle school years.

“My anxiety in middle school was harder because somehow there were rumors being spread because I missed so much school and the school is a lot smaller so things got around quicker. People assume the worst of things,” Ashley said. “That made it harder for me to even go to school because I felt like everyone hated me. I started to fall behind in all my classes, which just built on to everything else I was already dealing with.”

Though some of the stress has died down during the transition from middle school to high school, according to Ashley, there are still some moments that can feel “like the worst moments ever” and trigger anxiety attacks.

“When I was first diagnosed, I would get an upset stomach when my anxiety kicked in. Once it got worse, my heart would start pounding. I felt like it was beating out of my chest. I felt like I couldn’t even breathe and my throat started to burn and close up. You don’t even know what to think. You get all hot and sweaty. Everything keeps going on around you and it’s the only thing you can focus on,” said Ashley. “Now that a few years have passed, I feel like I can control it better. I get butterflies in my stomach and I’ll take a moment for myself and I’ll usually feel better.”

While triggering objects like stairs can be absurd to some, anxiety has total control of whoever has been diagnosed with the disorder. Anxiety triggers are controlled by the disorder and can be different than another’s triggers, according to Morgan Coirier, sophomore, who also struggles with anxiety.

“People are usually the main things that set off my anxiety. It’s not even what people say, or what they do or think. It’s more along the lines of their presence being there,” Coirier said. “I feel very uneasy and I would much rather just leave that situation.”

Coirier was diagnosed with social anxiety last year and has been “pushing through and doing the best she can to overcome it.” Although social interactions encompass some of her anxiety, there are other factors that affect everyday life, according to Coirier.

“I understand a lot of people are like this, but I have to get my homework done, otherwise, I panic and it creates a lot of more unnecessary stress that people just don’t understand, especially when it comes to my disorder,” Coirier said. “Sometimes when I’m with my friends, it’s hard to talk to them at lunch or wherever I am because of other random people that are around me. It’s difficult for me to raise my hand in class, even though I know what the answer is.”

Dealing with anxiety in the school setting has been “one of the hardest thing she’s ever had to face”, according to Coirier. Having to express her thoughts to her peers during class time and outside of the class is “equally as frustrating as embarrassing.” Only 121 of 217 survey respondents understand the topic of anxiety, ending in misunderstandings about the disorder, according to Ashley.

“It really bothers me when I hear people say ‘this is giving me anxiety’. Like yes, you may be anxious about something, but they don’t understand some of the experiences I’ve had with my own anxiety,” Ashley said. “It’s difficult for me to hear comments like that because people don’t understand what it’s actually like to have anxiety until they have it.”

According to Coirier, she was unaware of her anxiety disorder until she was seen by a professional. Coirier believes students should become more aware of mental illnesses and know when to seek help.

“People with mental illnesses like anxiety are thought of in this category that’s just like, ‘oh, you have a mental illness, something’s wrong with you. You’re weird.’ I just don’t like how people assume that once you have a mental illness, it’s something that’s completely strange and unheard of,” Coirier said. “People with mental disorders are just like everyone else and there’s nothing you should be afraid of.”