“Hiding it was so hard and so difficult, and I didn’t even feel like I was me. On National Coming Out Day, I wanted to just scream to the world… but I felt so hidden,” said senior Darby Millan.

Across the nation, thousands of nonheterosexual teens wake up face fear of the bullying, harassment, or discrimination they may suffer throughout the school day, according to pflagnyc.org. This fear causes some homosexual students to become stressed not only over their school work, but over who they are as a person as well.

Millan came out as a pansexual in a Gay Straight Alliance meeting after previously calling herself an Ally, which is someone who supports gay rights and homosexual people. The thought of being open about her sexuality with her peers caused her anxiety over their reactions, Millan said.

“It’s a lot different being an ally, and then going to switching over into the community and joining it. But I have asked certain people before things like, ‘Hey, if I came out to you, would you still be my friend?’ and some of them just told me that they really couldn’t [because of their religion],” Millan said.

Though Millan was originally stressed and concerned about her peers’ reactions, she has found the GSA Club to be one of her biggest support groups.

“[GSA] was really one of the first places that I felt comfortable coming out, and I have met so many amazing people. We are all like a big family, and we all support each other, especially because a lot of us have difficult times trying to deal with who we are,” Millan said. “We’re really just a big group of weirdos…  but all in all it’s just a really safe environment where nobody is going to give you weird looks or question you as a person.”

For some it takes years after high school to finally be comfortable about coming out as gay, bisexual, pansexual, or something other than heterosexual due to fear of other people’s reactions, Millan said.

“I think I was most nervous about the people I really knew and how they would react. I didn’t really care about what some random kid in the hallway was going to do, but some of my friends are religious and I didn’t really know how it was going to line up with their [beliefs],” Rachel Paul, senior, said.

Last year, Paul came out as a pansexual, which means she is attracted to both male and females without using their sexuality as a factor. According to Paul, one thing that worried her was getting the wrong term when she decided to come out.

“I felt as though if I came out as one thing and then I changed it, people would think both were illegitimate and say, ‘Well, are you sure?’. But I think that it’s a good idea and healthy to explore your identity and experiment with different labels,” Paul said.

There was never a certain event that made Paul completely realize she wasn’t heterosexual, but looking back she sees that there were signs in her childhood that helped her find herself.

“There were instances in grade school where I would be really chill with just hanging out with girls. I was a very touchy [kid] naturally, such as hugging, which doesn’t have to mean you’re gay. It was more the way I thought about it in how it didn’t matter what gender I was dealing with,” Paul said.

Paul is a leader in GSA and suggests that people who are curious about their sexuality or want to come out should take their time with it.

“People don’t have to come out if they feel that they aren’t going to be comfortable doing so. But I think if they feel that their close friend group is still going to be supportive, then I think they should go for it because those people are going to be a buffer to you,” Paul said.

Though some students are afraid of peer reactions, other people say that sometimes parents can be a challenge as well.

When a person opens up about their sexuality to their family, some families are not always open to the idea and may take some time to get accustomed to it, said an anonymous transgender male student who changed his name from his female birth name when he realized he is pansexual. Bear Facts has honored the request of the student to remain anonymous.

“[My parents] are trying to be supportive of me, but they are not supportive of [me changing my name],” said the student.

Though family is a stressful thing to consider when coming out, this student has found that he has a support group of peers at LZHS who accept him.

“I’ve never really had people be rude about my name change. I’ve had people forget, but those are normally the people that have known me for a long time. Other than that, everyone has been really supportive and didn’t really question any of it,” the student said.

When it comes to people who are still in the process of discovering their sexual identity, both Paul and the anonymous student agree not to rush the process.

“Just try and take things slow and figure it out for yourself,” the student said. “Take small steps and try things out because honestly the best thing you can do is let yourself be yourself.”